I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You ate ashes out of my bong
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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