Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
