a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Randomize
