i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
