oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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