what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
