I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
