You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
