i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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