How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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