i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
