Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize