this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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