We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
