it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
