chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
