and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
