Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
