There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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