i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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