Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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