i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This is my gift to your gina
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This toilet bowl is my home.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
