porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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