What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
