I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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