she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
