I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
