I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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