My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
