Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
