Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
