I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
After last night, I could never be a politician.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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