Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
