It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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