Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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