he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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