She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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