The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
