hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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