She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
