So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
