This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
