yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
