so explain again why im purple
no
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
