The maid of honor just puked.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
