She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize