ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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