I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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