Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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