is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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