Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i drank out of a bidet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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