So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
