I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
