just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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