the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
