was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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