i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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