I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
