Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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