I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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