We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
