If that was your dad, he is hot
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
