why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize