Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
two words...techno handjob
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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