Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
