Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Randomize